Yeah… I know. He hasn’t posted since the brothel incident. I could make up a great story about how he was kidnapped and sold as a white sex slave, but frankly he was too white and no one in southeast Asia would touch him even if they had a ten-foot pole.  Since people keep asking me, I’ll give you a quick update.

I left him in Hong Kong around the beginning of December. We had a killer trip… The beauty of traveling with Pete is you never know what’s in store for you. There was one night that I was sure we were getting kidnapped and I don’t even know how to write about it. What I really need to communicate this story accurately is a great pulp fiction comic book illustrator. To be honest, that was the only time I was a little nervous about my safety – so much so that I looked up at Pete and said, “If I get human trafficked, I swear to GOD I will never travel with you again.” But… there was a Chinese miracle, so here I post as Pete’s ghost writer.

I wrote a couple of stories but it doesn’t really begin to describe all the things we did and how much fun we had.

If I had to sum things up, best things were: eating mystery street food in Mongkok, hiking up to the Dragon’s Back Rice terraces, bicycling around limestone karsts in Yangshou, a sereptitious hot air balloon ride, swimming in Halong Bay, Chinese miracles trying to get to Vietnam, trying to decipher an explosion of Chinese characters, laughing at bad Asian karaoke, bumpy sleeper bus rides, getting lost in Hoi An on a moped late at night, a cooking class, Thanksgiving at Hoa’s in China Beach, finding a killer bungalow 20 feet from the beach on a southern Vietnam island, having a spectacular dinner on the beach, exploring an Phu Quoc island on a motorcycle, sticking our heads into a giant vat of pungent fish sauce, listening to bad Vietnamese guitar, eating amazing Vietnamese barbecue, drinking too much rhum and lemonade, sleeping in a tree house, riding a rollercoaster to a waterfall, shards of a peanut in the eye in a bar, snorkeling, drinking, drinking, drinking and pontificating after long days of adventuring (him, of course… not me).  Did I mention how the first English-speaking person I spoke to said to me, “OBAMA! You must be SO HAPPY!” This is the sentiment of every single person we had the pleasure of talking to.

I keep getting asked for pictures but to be honest there are so many and my ADD keeps flaring up, preventing me from organizing them. And Pete has so many and with a bum computer, it’s made it hard for him to keep the blog updated.

I was sad to leave Pete and Hong Kong; however, right after I left, his brother Chris showed up. I’m not sure I want to know all of the details, but they pretty much wrecked Thailand and Vietnam with things that involved things that included shooting guns, Thai ladyboys and teaching natives how English would rhyme with things like “go duck yourself.”

Then in January while Pete was unsupervised, he experienced a series of unfortunate events inthat included a cyclo accident, his computer totally crashed and worst, all of his camera gear, credit cards and ATM cards were stolen right out of his room ten feet away from him. If you feel sorry for Pete – think again. He’s still living a life of leisure and as he himself will tell you, we’re still the poor suckers that are stuck here with a shite economy slaving away for the man.

He spent some time in Laos and right now is back in Thailand working with monkeys trying to get his visa for India. Of course, these are all long stories really short. The good thing is that his new cards (along with some American candy and toiletries that will make him smell slightly better are on the way to him with his friend Bob – who I met briefly through email. I can’t wait to meet Bob someday because his sense of humor is decidedly more warped than mine if you can imagine that. I know… don’t even go there.

So that’s the update. If you think about it, send him an email and ask him about how to tell real girls from ladyboys.

- lisa